The Loopiad
by surro
Summary: A parody of "The Illiad"


"The Loopiad"  
  
Oh Muse! I do not care what you have been drinking  
Nor how long you have been sleeping  
It is my turn for some inspiration now.  
So get to it you musty old cow!  
Yes you heard me Olivia Newton John.  
Dont worry the tale has just begun.  
  
Herewith the tale of our odyssey.  
And I'll tell you now its a gotta-see  
The companies are all vying for the rights.  
Oh yes, talent is a terrible plight.  
Here is the tale of Mark and Brent, no censure.  
Prepare yourself for the days of high adventure.  
  
(Yes I just ripped conan off.  
I beg you too not scoff  
But I have to get my quotes for free,  
And if I may say: I look better in furry undies than he)   
  
Our tale begins in antiquity  
Two heroes Brentysseus and Markchilles.  
Forged from the very might of Gods.  
Or at least one night when they were bored.  
To the kingdom of ACU we must glance  
If we are to understand the following dance  
Of words to describe our greatest venture.  
That we will tell till our days with dentures.  
  
ACU was a kingdom in Mitchelton where,  
We were long bereft of hope or care.  
It had been long since war was declared  
And Brentysseus sought to go from there.  
  
BRENTYSSEUS: Come, Markchilles. Sharpen Your Blade.  
No not that one!!! You sick and depraved!  
I speak of our wits and wills of steel.  
There are worlds out there to reveal!  
  
MARKCHILLES: Brentysseus, you are always so tritely long-winded.  
Can't you see my hope has rescinded.  
We shall never discover the worlds out there.  
Nor mystical sheep with golden hair.  
I have no want for cyclops with one eye  
I do not care of the pavement in the sky.  
I wish to slay no dragons nor Medusas snakes.  
I tell you the quest is a fake!  
  
BRENTYSSEUS: Then tell me, Markchilles what have you found to replace our search for wonder, I ask you softly.  
  
MARKCHILLES: Ahh, my friend it is called philosophy  
  
(Here Brentysseus gave Markchilles a look.  
You know the one, followed by a head,shook.)  
  
Enter here the artistic sage  
Nickolai by name and on this page  
You are to hear his soliquy true.  
And if you stop reading now, we will come after you  
  
NICKOLAI: Oh ranting gentlemen of ACU.  
I have been thrown from my sleeping room.  
By the most vivid fate driven dream  
That pushes through time and place and scene.  
  
(Here as quite stereotypic  
Nickolai collapses with fit, epileptic)  
  
NICKOLAI: I see a city with invisible walls.  
And a quest that will not determine the fate of all.  
I see a room of glass moving up and up  
I see the runneth over of a cup.  
I see answers found in a loop  
Where the answer is a no-answer soup  
Beware of encroaching fate  
For thy drinks end is thou's own doom and date.  
I see what you seek is not what you seek  
Nor is it what you will find on feet.  
  
Here Nickolai fled from the room.  
To the toilet and not from the toils of doom  
The path was wrought and course was set.  
And the course of fate was to be proved yet.  
  
BRENYSSEUS: So we are decided, right?  
  
MARKCHILLES: No. But what else do I have to do on Friday night?  
  
And with that the tale moves (not bores)  
To the city with no walls and hope restored.  
Well, not really but perhaps the sound  
Describes a more exciting night in town.   
  
Mighty towers of stone and steel dominate the scene  
Far from the placid,silent sea.  
Grumbling,rumbling,metal is heard  
Far below the soaring bird.  
  
After many battles in front of the mirror  
And standing at cold stations, a'quiver.  
The unseen walls of the city are ubarred  
Open to Brentysseus and Achilles, (whoops,Mark)  
  
After the toil for many an hour  
With times both sweet and sour  
Brentysseus and Mark aboard a Trojan Train.  
Seek not only the heart but all the veins.  
  
We wander the street in our hunting best.  
And to our suprise we are treated,less  
Than us as conquerers do deserve  
And we are regarded much as a pair of perves  
  
Here scripted is our banter,  
Before we hit bottle and decanter.  
  
MARKCHILLES: Tell me, Brentysseus. Why are we here again  
  
BRENTYSSEUS: We are here on a mission for all men.  
  
MARKCHILLES: And tell me again how this benefits all of us in a pinch  
  
BRENTYSSEUS: Well, if we can score it, for others it will be a sinch.  
  
So we wondered on dressed,trimmed stone  
Musing and whinging on our current state of alone  
The cups of our minds overrun with sensation.  
Our conversation full of lamentation.  
  
Unheeding a sages warning  
We grew closer to the fates mouth,yawning  
And a room of glass that was not yet there  
While we waited unpatiently, with frustrated stare.  
  
BRENTYSSEUS: Tell me again of the loop, Markchilles.  
  
MARKCHILLES: It was long ago, the tale gives me the willies.  
Wondering southward, wonderlust consumed  
My mind ranging over past and future glooms  
And of all things I am not sure what I seeked  
Whether I really lust for truth or just another heartbeat.  
I wondered long in the blizzard of my mine  
Unaware to passing time  
When it struck me, the endless loop  
Somewhere to be found the answer to life's goop  
I have looked for it everywhere, never rested.  
Because in my quest my faith is tested.  
For if I seek nothing, then nothing is what I feel...and...  
  
BRENTYSSEUS: To strive, to seek,to find and not to yeild?  
  
MARKCHILLES: Something like that, yes.  
But less plagurised would be best.  
  
Here the room of glass was open to us  
By our truth or dreams or just our dust.  
By our trails we lead through life  
Or just by coincidence and nothing so nice  
As God or Heaven or Hope in man.  
Everything is random and unplanned.  
  
We stepped into the room of glass  
Hoping we would ascend at last.   
Despite all signs pointing down  
Light poured out in dissolved our frowns.  
As the chambers of glass ascended.  
Our agnosticism was suitably bended.  
Dancing like a lark, a nymph in sight  
Was beauty unlike the deepest velvet night.  
The spirit of the elevator, grasped us both.  
Perhaps rekindling a sense of hope  
As she left our sparkling eyes  
"La bella dame sans Merci" : "Seeya Guys"  
  
Our confusion led us to the bottom pit  
We drank our pints and there we sit.  
The loop has unspun its final goal.  
And in it's unspinning has its toll  
  
BRENTYSSEUS: Markchilles, Today what did we find?  
  
MARKCHILLES: Perhaps something we will keep or leave behind.  
  
BRENTYSSEUS: So we shall go on, Right?  
  
MARKCHILLES: What do we have on tomorrow night?  
  
The box holding hope was unleashed long ago  
By a silly girl who didnt know the pain it would show.  
But the box of answers is still without a key.  
And that is the way it was meant to be  
  
What drives you to keep telling these tales  
Humor or insight both to no avail.  
What drives us to kidnap the muse  
And to continue to be associated with poems, abused.  
  
There is no loop at the end of these trances  
There is definately no girl and no answers.  
Perhaps the journey is enough to be selfish.  
Or it is just all rhetorical rubbish  
  
Alright muse now you can go  
Our tale is told and what have we shown.  
That somethings are left unanswered,not spoke  
But at least in the end its always a joke.  
  
THE END 


End file.
